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♥ gracie baby!281190. twentyone.
unrecoverable chocoholic. touch rugby #07.
gracie. cie. smallone. jellybean. cie-ly. babykins. bounce. shortie. starshine.
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little baby animals. black-brown yorkshire terrier! white maltase! skye terrier. west highland white terrier.
shooting stars! fireworks at night! sunsets and sunrises. underwater worlds! sandy beaches.
kaleidoscope! movie marathons. disney cartoons shows. mathematics! human sized stuff toys! musical boxes.
milk chocolates! milka chocolate bars! wonka chocolate bars! beard papa chocolate fondant! haggen daz chocolate fondue.
hersey milk and cookies chocolate bars! chocolate chip cookies! mrs fields' cookies! subway cookies - 2 double choc, 1 choc chip!
fortune cookies. crystal jade flakes puffs! pasta fresca tiramisu! swensens gold rush sundae. cookies & cream icecream!
sticky chewy chocolate icecream. ben and jerry's cookie dough icecream! ben & jerry's phish food icecream. rocky road icecream! mint chocolate chips icecream.
brownies with icecream fudged! the baker's story brownies! the baker's story cheesecake brownies.
fiesta orginal cheesecake! fiesta strawberry cheesecake. premeire deli double chocolate cake! ikea daim cake.
breadtalk cheese and ham bun. honeyed paper prata! ruffles bbq chips. calbee's hot & spicy chips! double decker chips.
california handrolls! yoshinoya ebi&beef meals! miso soup! beef lagsanas! baked rice! hawaiian pizza w/o pineapples!
laksa cup noodles. japanese ramen. cheese hotdogs! beef corny dogs! the cathay movie theatres.
all expenses paid shopping sprees! pink blue purple white stuffs. everything on my wishlist! ♥
Frown
sharkfins and abalone. fish and vegetables. parents teacher meetings! horrendous tests and exams. trusting liars. getting backstabbed. sudden depressions! being alone.
my sis copying my everything! waking up in the morning. never mess up my hair.
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baby terrier puppy. pair of white & black mini netherland dwarf bunnies! Queries
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Design: Yours-TragicallyIcons: Enlaced
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( bye bye beautiful. ♥ )
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Lovenotes
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
into the ocean; end it all
this song (into the ocean by blue october) has been on repeat for this week; the lyrics are apt, and the background violin plays beautifully. ♥
a good, long talk with my bestfriend in university on relationships made me "wake up" on some of my friendships. the question is, why can't everyone just treat guy-girl friendships as friendships? i hate the cycle of being friends, becoming close, guy/girl suddenly confesses... and it all goes to awkward pieces. this always ruins beautiful friendships, and admittedly, i'm selfish, i want to keep my friendships. =/
for that, i live by simple rules:
1. befriend someone with intentions of being friends.
2. if one falls in love as the friendship progresses, always make sure it's mutual before making a move.
3. if it's not mutual, don't force it nor pressure the partner. simply treasure the friendship. ♥
sadly, ub bestfriend did point out obvious flaws and interesting points. take rule #1 for example, for most people, when they start eyecandy-ing or then crushing on someone, they would try their very best to get to know the person (facebook, classes, whatsapp etc). that's natural i guess? =/ for me, i treat my eyecandy as an eyecandy, just another stranger. if he's a friend, then yes, i would still treat him as a normal friend. i would never go after him; stranger or friend. in my anti-rejection self, a part of me believes that if he was interested he would make the first move. (which spring ec did, but... that's for another enstrangled time.) ♥ then comes rule #3, i can still hear his voice in my mind: "Easier said than done!" which is true, i've been there and done that. but up till today, i have no regrets never confessing to 'Bubbles' in junior college. knowing the truth might have been more hurtful than living with my idealised view of him. i'm contented, and still friends with him. in a way, i realise i treasured my friendship with him more than my own self-interest of being with him. ♥
anw, bestfriend and i came to the conclusion that both ways is awesome/sucky depending on the couple pairing. he scolded me for being too passive in giving myself a chance for a relationship. can you blame me though? :(
i understand most single friends my age are almost perpetually looking for love; looking to get attached. yes, it's painfully obvious, but anyone would still deny it. it's obvious in the fact that every other attractive single girl/guy they meet they consider their potential as a girlfriend/boyfriend; and try to go after said girl/guy if possible. for me, i DO still find "said girl/guy" attractive, but i'm not interested in being with him/her. maybe bestfriend's right, i'm scared of commitment. no one really gets how suffocated i feel being pressured into a relationship; having to be a girlfriend to someone as per social norms, having to design your schedule to perfectly rotate around his, having to always be seen as a pairing instead of as an individual, having to... i'd just rather not. no thank you.
into the ocean
by blue october
i spin, colliding into sound,
like whales beneath me diving down.
i'm sinking to the bottom of my
everything that freaks me out.
the lighthouse beam has just run out,
i'm cold as cold as cold can be.
i want to swim away but don't know how,
sometimes it feels just like i'm falling in the ocean.
let the waves up take me down,
let the hurricane set in motion.
where is the coastguard?
keep looking each direction
for a spotlight, give me something
not knowing how to think,
i scream aloud, begin to sink.
my legs and arms are broken down,
with envy for the solid ground.
i'm reaching for the life within me,
how can one man stop his ending?
now waking to the sun,
i calculate what i had done.
my will to quickly end it all,
sat front row in my need to fall.
my present mindset resolves around the lyrics of blue october's hit song. lyrics always gets me because of how cyrptic they are; a sentence can relate to anyone based on their own experience and current thoughts. naturally, my twitter/facebook status are usually lyricals than relates to what's happening at that moment, i prefer them over heartfelt words as they explain a hint of what's going on, yet keep secret a lot of details... only safely known and deciphered by the other person i've shared the moment with. :)) unclose friends who see those lyrics only assume it was a line randomly tweet-ed from a song, the one involved would know it's true meaning. ♥ lyrics, ftw.
so, in conclusion? into the ocean, end it all.
; i'm cold as cold as cold can be.